| by "Alex" Caroline Robboy, CAS, MSW, ACSW, LCSW |
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10 Ways To Pick Yourself Up When You Are Feeling Down
We’ve all been there; the alarm clock rings, we press snooze, curl ourselves into the fetal position and are awake just long enough to recognize the heavy, sinking feeling of not wanting to deal. Maybe it’s surprising, or perhaps even understandable, as you remember the terrible fight you got into last night with your partner. You feel hopeless, aware you’re going to need a bigger step up to get out of this hole- possibly even a ladder and an evacuation team.
The bad news first: there is no way to stop from experiencing these feelings again. Everyone, from the President , to the celebrity, to the housewife, is susceptable to these emotions. It’s part of being human. Perhaps you just graduated college and aren’t sure what you’d like to pursue, or were just broken up with. The events that cause this depressed feeling are endless, and different for each individual. Some people are more sensitive, and affected by their coffee spilling on the way to work, while others can’t watch the news without feeling terrible.
The good news: In the scheme of things, sadness isn’t all horrible. We need to have low places in our lives, hit rock bottom, even, to help us learn how to cope, recover from setbacks, and face uncertainties. Sad experiences and emotions give us appreciation for the great times we experience with friends, lovers and family.
If you don’t by that, try these steps below! Some are actions you can take, others changes in thinking, and all of them things that are do-able! While it is true that you can’t always control what happens to you, you can control how you react, and only you are in charge of yourself.
TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN
Two things can beat sadness: The outer world, and the world inside yourself- your inner self. The outer world is pretty much not in our control, so when you feel bad because of it, it’s pretty frustrating. However, you can learn how to pick out the things and activities that make you happy and excited. You can learn to create an environment for yourself that is positive and stable.
The innerself is just as tricky. While changin the outer world involves changing habits, impeding sadness from making an appearance involves changing your thought patterns. It may seem daunting at first, but is effective! The tips offered below are small, and can be made slowly to increase your chances at being in a happier mood.
Please note that these tips are designed to shake off bouts of sadness that are common in everyone, every once in a while. However, If you find that you often feel sad for no reason, or that you have difficulty taking pleasure in things you once enjoyed, please be aware that you may not be experiencing normal sadness- you may be suffering from clinical depression. This is nothing to be ashamed of, but is a medical condition that is highly treatable if you take the necessary steps. If you feel you may have depression, please seek professional counseling immediately.
OUTER WORLD
Get Outside
Remember when your Mom told you to go outdoors and get some fresh air? She wasn’t saying that to get you out of her way- enjoying the outdoors does wonders for any mood,. A small park, trees outside your office, or flowers in your garden offer a fairly natural setting that is easy to view, or get to, if you find yourself busy, or just not living next door to a National Park. Sitting outside and reading, or having a snack in the sunshine will lift your spirits. Try exercising while doing this, and notice pleasureable feelings you experience after you’re finished, or even during, if you’re in shape. Try a “Happiness Diet,†foods that encourage you to feel just that- happy. Bananas and peanut butter give you a natural energy boost. Cut out caffeine, which can make you irritable, and prone to reacting to small, trivial occurances. Avoid empy sugars such as soda or candy, which can make it difficult to focus, especially after you crash. Dark chocolate is a good substitute if you’re still craving sweets. It’s good for the heart( in moderation, of course) and triggers pleasure hormones that provide a nice pick-me-up.
Adjust Your Sleep Schedule
If you’re feeling grumpy in the mornings after a full night of sleep, try getting up earlier. It’s possible that you’re clocking in the right hours of sleep, just not at the right time.Take a week or two and get up an hour to an hour and a half early, and get into bed that much later. Some people feel terrible if they awake at 8 am., but fabulous at 6 am. Waking up earlier also means you won’t be rushed as you prepare for the day ahead. You’ll be able to enjoy a cup of orange juice or an english muffin at your kitchen table, as opposed to in your car. Many claim that the early morning sunlight provides you with a great mood that lasts throughout the day.
Make A Happy Place
It sounds childish, but it makes a huge difference. Create a happy environment for yourself, where you feel safe, and fill it with things you enjoy. This could mean old comic books, struffed animal, or photographs of natural landscapes. This place should be solely your own, where you can have privacy for an hour or two. Light a scented candle of your choice, listen to your favorite music, and enjoy a good book. Avoid the desire to put a TV or computer in this place, as you’ll find they easily distract, and detract, from your alone time. This should be a place you can look forward to going to.
Try Something New
Boredom itself can cause feelings of sadness, monotony and pointlessness. Routine needs to be broken up! Take a class on cooking, or pottery. Learn to play an instrument. Take a different route to work, or go hiking or camping for a change or scenery. Join a gym, or join a book club. Sometimes just changing your pattern a little can breath a new excitement and sense of interest in your life.
INNER SELF
Pick Out the Positives
Focus on the positive things in life, and not on the negative. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, or sad, take a breath and think of something in your life that gives you joy. It can be something as simple as the candle you light at night, to something major, like your child. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems, and there is good is many things.
Slip Past Stress
Many people talk about “fighting stress,†yet that is probably a poor choice of words. The key is to let the stressors, factors in your life that make you stressed, slip past you. Sounds difficult, right? It isn’t, but it’s all about changing thinking patterns. Don’t react, don’t fight. You CAN work this problem out, and getting upset wont’ fix a thing. Remember, your mind is yours alone, and you can choose to keep it secure against the things that upset you. It’s a cycle: since sadness can come from stress and stress can come from sadness, this is a good technique to relieve some of the pressure of a bad day.
Consider Yourself First
Many people are sad because they realize they cannot take on all of their friends and families problems, on top of their own, which usually don’t get as much attention as they should. While people like this are helpful, caring individuals, they often get so stressed that they cannot help anybody out, let alone themselves. You need to be able to step back. You can be supportive and helpful, but you need to realize that the individuals around you are also responsible for themselves. Take care of your own life, any sadness that you feel on your own part, first. Make sure that you are okay with yourself and your situation before you try to tackle anyone else’s problems.
Keep It In Perspective
When you are sad about something, think of the worst-case scenario. Ask yourself- In all honesty, what is the worst that can happen? You’re alive today, and it’s pretty likely that you’ll be alive tomorrow to. And that means that anything that’s getting you down is something you’ll have a chance to work on. When you really look at where most sadness is coming from, it’s much more emotional than rational. In reality, most situations just aren’t that bad, and whatever you tell yourself, they are probably going to work out okay.
Indulge in Bad Days
Sometimes it’s okay to spend the day in bed. Call it a mental health day, if you like. Wallow in your self pity, eat that pint of Ben and Jerry’s.
Have a good cry. It can be cathartic.
These ten tips can change your mood, change your day, and hopefully change your life. If you have something else in your life that makes you smile when you feel down, than go for it! Everyone is different, and there are infinite sources of happiness in the world. Yes, everyone has bad days – but by changing what you do and how you think, you can get up and get back to your life that much faster.
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